Telling the tale of my magical BFF, Mr. Ambien Walrus. His epic likeness was coined by the brilliantly talented Drew at Toothpaste For Dinner. Until Wikipedia chooses to recognize Mr. Ambien Walrus this will be our walrupedia.
I don’t make the comics, i’m just a fan. Most of my walrus shopping trips involve outfits for small pets.
i take usually 5-10mg before sleep….. i didnt feel tired. took another one…. .still felt nothing…. still no walrus???
i started at 1145 pm and its 4am now!!!
where are you???? coocoo-kachooo
Depends how much time you give yourself and how much mobility you have. I find it safest to have someone duck tape me to the bed until morning.
I agree
I’m going to cut this story down to it’s bare bones as it’s quite long and most likely less entertaining to those not involved. So onward to the gist.
It was a Wednesday evening and I had just taken an ambien preparing for a restful night of sleep. Until,…my friends called wanting me to go to the pub. Normally I’m not one to give in to peer pressure (Who am I kidding? Yes I am.) but I was all ready a quarter finished with my swim to Ambien Island. You know, where the Walrus (Walruses? Walri?!) cover the sandy beaches with their glistening umber bodies and words of encouragement. So I went.
From the videos they took I apparently had a great time. I rode a child’s mechanical horse, which in my defense was in the pub, while telling tales of my experiences in the mail service in the now post-apocalyptic world which is infested by zombies. The walrus that accompanied me on this excursion was even nice enough to provide me with the populations of various towns.
It was quite the excursion I had with an Ambien walrus. If I could change it, I doubt I would.
One time, many years ago, on zopiclone (Canadian ambien), I took two pills, tucked myself into bed, and went to sleep.
In reality I was on my computer until at least 4 AM, and I woke up on the floor, with a backpack stuffed full of Lego as a pillow. Not sure how or when that happened, only that by consensus, the walrus and I agreed it would be the sounder sleeping method.
Penny the elusive corg-shark! Ironically, she isn’t ferocious and hates water very much.
(via redsaidred)
word.
I myself am an indulger of ambien. I have been explaining to many the aura of the ambien walrus for some time now. This story shall be evaluated from when I awoke one morning: my laptop was still on and a pile of catnip was sitting next to it. There was a lighter and a pipe. I open my laptop to see I was playing pokemon and had fully evolved a worthless magikarp into a stunning gyarados. I put the puzzle pieces together and realized that that night the ambien walrus paid me a visit. Together we smoked bowls of catnip and played pokemon red for hours on end until my body eventually reached a state of shutdown. All day the next day I contemplated what smoking catnip would even be like so when I got home from a regular sober minded day I loaded a bowl and…well…did not enjoy it much. What was I thinking? Well I wasn’t: the ambien walrus was doing all the thinking that night. “just go for it! go for the gold!” he shouted into my drug induced ear canal. Also most of my snack food was strewn across the desk and floor but as crumbs and torn apart boxes and bags instead. (looking forward to our next encounter)
